Oh the joy, oh the agony!

It's been a long road.

I started on this project back in September 2018. I had filmed a small segment of an idea for a horror short. My inspiration was drawn from Lights Out - one of my favorite horror shorts that gave me nightmares. It was so overwhelmingly exciting when I read that it was being made into a full length feature with the original director, David F. Sandberg at the helm, under the supervision of producer, James Wan. Everything felt possible.

Somewhere in October, I lost my steam and set my little film on the back burner. I kept getting emails about film festivals and horror fests around the states. It was hard to ignore them.

I didn't feel like I was good enough. And I didn't feel like the film was done.

In February 2019 I dropped my external hard drive... all the files for my short film except the exported drafts and Premiere Project files were on there. This was a valuable lesson in BACKING YO SHIT UP MULTIPLE PLACES. Ugh. That was a hard week.

I wasn't happy with the 4 minutes I had.

One quiet day in April I decided to just film. I didn't put on any makeup, I wore what I was wearing, and I started storyboarding in my mind and making it up as I filmed and set the camera in different spots around my home and just filmed myself. There was a lot of truth in my story.

I felt isolated.
I felt lonely and wanting connection.

I felt haunted.


From April to November I would revisit the project file. Re-Editing over and over. Two versions... five versions... too many versions.

I settled on the one that I felt had the most impact, though not the snappiness I wanted. I agonized with photoshop trying to make something that justified a poster like image. (Photo design is one I'm still learning.)

On November 11, I uploaded my film to YouTube and scheduled it to be made public on the 14th. I promptly forgot about it. If I thought about it, I would have removed the scheduled release date.

It went live. I got my email. I looked at it. No one had viewed it. My good-natured 35 subscribers ignored it. And part of me was glad. 

The idea of deleting it crossed my mind several times. Then one person watched it. They gave it a thumbs up. That was all I needed. One like. 

The creation of this piece is by no means perfect. It's my art - it'll never be perfect. But it is what it is, like each of us, unique and with potential.

I present it to you without further delay my latest creation - Just One Wish.

xx
-Z