I don't have to tell you, dear reader, how things have been. I'm sure you're well aware.
Work continues to press on here with kittens.
My work on the Stella Luna Yoga School 200hr and 100hr online programs came to completion in May this year. With filming almost every weekend starting in November 2019 till February 2020, we recorded over 12 hours of footage. That's a lot for this little crew of just me.
When it came down to it, with all the additional adjustments of lighting in post (different times of day and trying to be consistent with the minimal lighting I was able to do in an office space), text additions, and audio adjustments (being in a strip mall on a busy street means a lot of additional noises to weed through) it took me just over 75 hours to feel good about everything. Over the course of the months as we were filming, I was editing at the same time. It was a good long project and I personally learned a lot about yoga, and even more about editing. I'm super grateful for the gig and if you ever decide to take Yoga Teacher Training, I can't say enough about Stella and Jessi. Their program is amazing.
On the nostalgia side, I revisited some of my older promos I did for Warpportal back in the day, and I have to say: they aren't terrible! I did the best with what was available to me from the game engines and stock art from the Korean studio. With how long I had been teaching myself the software and the footage I was dealing with, I'm pretty proud of some of those. Most notably Metal Assault, Ragnarok Clicker and We Build Story because I did all the in-game capture for those and the editing. And this is just ridiculousness, but I love it. I miss all these people.
I recently completed a new artist reel which you can view on the home page of the site. I particularly proud of how the music hits some of those moments. The free music on YouTube is getting really good - I'm super thankful for that resource.
With the stay at home orders, no traditional job, and plenty of time to meditate - I mean, circle the drain of existential crisis and the nihilistic contemplation of the worth of what my existence has to offer, I've found myself questioning all my "dreams."
Realistically, I'm mourning my dreams.
I'm mourning what will never exist again.
What I wished for since I was a little kid - it's never going to be in a golden age of artistic film the way it was before.
Theatre might never exist again the same way - we don't know. As of the moment, my industry doesn't really exist and as someone who is a VERY small fish, I feel it is unlikely that once there is work that I would be on the top of anyone's list. Sorry to get so real, but I'm working on accepting that what I've trained for my whole life is superfluous and intangible.
With that heavy on my heart, I took a couple weeks to dwell in that sadness and terror of
"what am I going to do FOR REAL?"
It's becoming more and more apparent that the "hustle" has to evolve. The hustle still exists, but there are additional factors to consider now. And the priorities have shifted. The more I dwell on it, the more I like editing the work I do than actually doing the performance work (this might also be because I'm alone and not acting WITH anyone) but I digress.
Every trip into the outside world is filled with stress, dread and a leaky faucet of terror. The shortest interaction with a stranger leaves me exhausted when I get home and de-germify.
But enough about that. We're all going through something peculiar and emotionally offsetting right now.
What this all boils down to is, I'm really thankful to have the internet to help me keep my mind open as a student of editing and storytelling, providing me with resources to make cool shit, and keeping my mind occupied once in a while with a project so that I can imagine a time where we're not all huddled in fear of whatever awful Black Mirror episode this is.
Thank you to the folkx that hire me for little things - I'm truly grateful for the breaks in the monotony of quarantine.
And now it's time to punch the clock.
Take care out there.